open your heart to good thing around you

assalamualaikum

friends is a bunch of people that live around me. friendship is a bond that tied me to them. being good to them beside to my Cretor, my umi and abah, i also be good to my friends and everything around me.



i love my classmate.

for the semester im here, i haf 40++ of clasmate n now left only 40 of us. for the first tyme i felt that i cant make everybody as a friend at first. but after a few week, i already make friend with every one eventhough i still catn be fren to a few 'clan' Or maybe the way they carry themselves are just different from me, and instead of trying to adjust, I shy away. They are more of the 'religious' type. They have their weekly gathering with some of our seniors and friends, discussing religions, while I spent most of my weekends reading and watching movie and...yeah, doing whatever it was that I wanted. Sometimes I think they made me feel bad. I don't go to gatherings like that. I am not as soft-spoken, blah blah blah. Yes, reasons to defend myself.

after a few semester, i felt i already good enough to be a good creature but somehow how good am i trying to be, still some eye will look me awkwardly to my self. y? because me is whatever that i want to do.

Maybe that's why I started to look at things differently. nobody guide me here, nobody will told me to not to do dat, not to talk this, not to wear dat, stop talking bout other, try to positive ur thinking and bla bla bla.. all i got is Mr chicken soup for the soul, Mr how to be positive, Miss think is good, My sister two of a kind [marykate n ashley olsen], granny stephanie meyer, and other motivational books.

reading a book is all i haf to kept my self be good and i remember constantly about to not judge others, and to think of them in the very positive way that I can, because thats how you create peace in your heart, thats how you prevent yourself from being envious of others.

The idea was once out of grasp for me, because for me, how sure are you that they are doing the same thing to you? I was born a very skeptical person, so this idea didn't really suit me well.

yet i am still ili aisyah.

Perhaps that's His sign to tell you that being close to Him, lead to a better life?. I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe it leads to more that just a better life. Maybe

what happen now, is like me and u are distance because of that thing, and how good i am, u will never accept me as a friend of u. yeah yeah. . we have a lil chat b4 in biostac class but it doesnt fell the same as b4.. i noe i am a bad person. i ask forgiveness from u n from Him, but its still difrent and now how i wish to try to stop to their room, haf a lil conversation or just tegur and say "hai, sehat tak hari ni?" or " exam bla bla masuk ape ea? any clue?" the reality is, u wont even enter my room ryte.. y? before u hate me so much.. u cant see me.. the good of me..

i try to open my heart since i noe how to thinks n maybe ni dugaan dan cabaran dalam hidup ili agaknyer n ili akan sabar walaupon sungguh besar dugaanMu ya Allah.. - subhanallah - kerna ku tahu Kau sayangkan ku jadi kau berika aku dugaan supaya ku lebih tabah~

Then again, perhaps when you want to be close to God, the heart that you once shut so tightly from seeing the goodness in people, is opened.

I know for some people, being friendly is easy. Making new friends comes naturally to them, and creating bonds between hearts that last forever is a piece of cake.

But for those who are more like me, to the people out there who need to really trust people first before you open your heart, I suggest you find your way to your Creator first.

Because when you open your heart to finding God, you'll open your heart to the so many good things around you too.

And that includes the people you see everyday.

It works for me :)

p/s: saya tido sepanjang hari